I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I’m the nurse who likes to…

Now that’s an amusing clip from Mr John Hughes’ fictionalized version of events, but, although it’s not widely known, I was indirectly responsible for concerned friends of a certain young Ferris Bueller hiring that hooker in an attempt to restore his pluck.

Mrs Froman and I are real ice-cream lovers. We love ALL the flavors, but most of all we love 31 Flavors and we visit our local franchise whenever we get the chance.

One particular visit we made has always stuck in my mind: it was early 1986, and I’d just got out of the hospital after my testicular operation – we stopped in our way home and I was sharing a funny medical story with the erstwhile manager, Derek. The story went something like this:

“So, I’m lying in bed, all groggy after the op and I can’t move a muscle, when a new nurse comes into the room. Now this was a MALE nurse – a big black MALE nurse. Now this guy just fixes me with a stare and says:

‘I heard that you were feeling ill…’

I manage to nod, in reply.

‘Headache, fever, and a chill…’

I’m thinking, yeah, and the rest, buddy.

‘I’ve come to help restore your pluck…’

My pluck?

‘…cause I’m the nurse who likes to…’

And I’m starting to get a little worried at this point, actually I damn near soiled myself.

‘…tuck!’

How I laughed as the nurse straightened out the sheets and gave me a good tucking-in. This was a great way to break the ice, and me and Dusty Booker, as he was called, became the best of buddies!”

And of course as I’m telling this story, I’m laughing, and Derek the 31 Flavors manager is laughing. AND, this bunch of kids from Shermer High, who’d been listening too, were also cracking up.

Now it so happens that those same kids were around the night, a few months later, when Ferris Bueller passed out in that very same spot. Now, I suppose this might just have been happenstance, but I think those kids tried to hire Nurse Dusty Booker to look after their friend Ferris, but, somewhere along the line, wires got crossed and they managed to hire a busty hooker nurse instead…

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