I’m suggesting that you leave before I have to get snooty

Let me tell you another story. You may be surprised to hear that there’s nothing I like better than sticking my hand up a little bear behind. Or up a small dog’s behind. Sometimes both at once.

That’s right, I’m a keen puppeteer!

My favorite puppets can be seen in the short video clip above. I carry these little guys around with me quite often – you never know when you’ll have the chance to entertain some little kids (or big kids!) with an impromptu puppet performance.

As you know, Chez Quis has been the favorite Froman restaurant for over thirty years, but I must confess that some of their staff have, now and again, fallen short of the high standards I expect and demand. One of their Maitre D’s in particular was a royal pain in the ass. One time I was putting on a little show with my cute doggie puppet, (named Sweep) for this retarded kid and her family, when the Maitre D greased his way over to ask me to stop – the amusing squeaking noise coming from my puppet APPARENTLY could have been mistaken for RATS, and was putting other diners off their food!

I fix this guy with the legendary Froman stare and say, “I suggest that you leave before I have to get Sooty!”
Sooty is, of course, the name of my little bear puppet. Sooty has magic wand that he can use to, y’know, do magic! Needless to say, the Maitre D slinked off with his tail between his legs. My memorable turn of phrase must have made a big impression on him, though, as I overheard him using it several times through the years while dealing with difficult customers.
Of course, he didn’t say “Sooty,” he said “snooty” or sometimes even “snotty”!

Anyhow, imagine my surprise when I saw this phrase of mine cropping up in John Hughes’ film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!

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