Nine Times

Now, in the film by John Hughes, nine times is the number of unauthorized absences young Ferris Bueller has had during the school year. However, I can exclusively reveal that the real story of “Nine Times” is scandalously different to the Hollywood version.

“Nine times” was, of course, the number of times Edward Rooney had been arrested for Kerb Crawling by mid 1986. When Rooney called Ferris’ Mom at her place of work to confirm her son’s absence, it was of course Katie Bueller that raised the nine time Kerb Crawling issue, having got wind of it from a real estate client who happened to be in the Chicago Police Force. What concerned parent wouldn’t have done exactly the same in her situation?

Between a rock and a hard place, Rooney started to threaten that he would force Ferris to repeat his final year of high school, and sabotage his college applications, should Mrs Bueller reveal his string of criminal offenses to anyone else. Mrs Bueller, of course, refused to be blackmailed in this way. It was this, rather than any innocent ‘Day Off’ that triggered Rooney’s crazy, violent spiral into ridicule, unemployment and imprisionment.

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