Now, in the film by John Hughes, nine times is the number of unauthorized absences young Ferris Bueller has had during the school year. However, I can exclusively reveal that the real story of “Nine Times” is scandalously different to the Hollywood version.
Let me tell you a story. Back in the early 80’s I had just had a meal with my lovely wife at our favorite restaurant, Chez Quis. We were waiting outside for the valet to bring our car. The driver was new, sporting a ridiculous spiky hairstyle, constantly sneezing and wiping his nose on his sleeve, and really was quite the imbecile to boot. Anyhow, he kept bringing us the wrong damn automobile.