This is a moving scene from the well-known Hollywood movie, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. But you may be surprised to hear the REAL reason behind Cameron Frye’s struggle to get out of bed that morning. I can tell you it had nothing to with him having a lump of coal wedged up his ass or anything ridiculous like that. (How DO these rumors get started?)
Tag Archives: Ferris Bueller
I’m suggesting that you leave before I have to get snooty
Let me tell you another story. You may be surprised to hear that there’s nothing I like better than sticking my hand up a little bear behind. Or up a small dog’s behind. Sometimes both at once.
Nine Times
Now, in the film by John Hughes, nine times is the number of unauthorized absences young Ferris Bueller has had during the school year. However, I can exclusively reveal that the real story of “Nine Times” is scandalously different to the Hollywood version.
I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I’m the nurse who likes to…
Now that’s an amusing clip from Mr John Hughes’ fictionalized version of events, but, although it’s not widely known, I was indirectly responsible for concerned friends of a certain young Ferris Bueller hiring that hooker in an attempt to restore his pluck.
Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
This is what I told that Ferris Bueller kid in the restrooms of Chez Quis on that fateful day back in ’86.
Actually, what I really said was “Only the MEAT gets pinched. The bold survive.” I guess he must have misheard me.