Now, in the film by John Hughes, nine times is the number of unauthorized absences young Ferris Bueller has had during the school year. However, I can exclusively reveal that the real story of “Nine Times” is scandalously different to the Hollywood version.
Tag Archives: Stolen Quotes
I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I’m the nurse who likes to…
Now that’s an amusing clip from Mr John Hughes’ fictionalized version of events, but, although it’s not widely known, I was indirectly responsible for concerned friends of a certain young Ferris Bueller hiring that hooker in an attempt to restore his pluck.

I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind
Let me tell you a story. Back in the early 80’s I had just had a meal with my lovely wife at our favorite restaurant, Chez Quis. We were waiting outside for the valet to bring our car. The driver was new, sporting a ridiculous spiky hairstyle, constantly sneezing and wiping his nose on his sleeve, and really was quite the imbecile to boot. Anyhow, he kept bringing us the wrong damn automobile.

Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.
This is what I told that Ferris Bueller kid in the restrooms of Chez Quis on that fateful day back in ’86.
Actually, what I really said was “Only the MEAT gets pinched. The bold survive.” I guess he must have misheard me.