When Cameron was in Egypt’s land: Let my Cameron go

This is a moving scene from the well-known Hollywood movie, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. But you may be surprised to hear the REAL reason behind Cameron Frye’s struggle to get out of bed that morning. I can tell you it had nothing to with him having a lump of coal wedged up his ass or anything ridiculous like that. (How DO these rumors get started?)

Now, Cameron’s father, Morris Frye, and I go back a long, long way, so I happen to know that Cameron’s teenage years were absolutely blighted by a terrible medical condition.
Some further lines were cut from the movie. Cameron’s sad song should go like this:

When Cameron was in Egypt’s land: Let my Cameron go
Erection so hard he could not stand, Let my Cameron go
Lay down, Cameron
Way down in Egypt’s land
Tell old Tent Pole
Let my Cameron go

Now, the idea of having a constant penile erection might be amusing to some people, but, for Cameron Frye, I can assure you it was no joke. At one point he even had to feign suicide through drowning in an attempt to conceal his angry spitting cobra from his best friend’s girlfriend, Sloane Peterson.

The “uptight” actions of young Cameron Frye become easily understandable once you appreciate the torment he was going through.

6 thoughts on “When Cameron was in Egypt’s land: Let my Cameron go

  1. Mmm-mmm-mmm. The poor boy. It was a terrible shame for Cameron. His mother told me all about it. In the strictest of confidence, of course.

  2. WTF. Did you actually write those gay lyrics? That is not how the song actually goes unless you are some kind of a perv. Go fuck yourself, creep.

    1. Yes I did write those lyrics, but I don’t know what you think is gay about them?
      Also, keep it civil, sunshine!

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